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Maybe all three.”I shook my head, “I don’t think so. I think there’s something deeper. Have you talked to your counselor about this? And told her about how much you hate ‘Jessica’?”“We’re kind of dancing around the edges.”“Stop dancing and start talking,” I said. “Figure it out. You have to know yourself before we can truly know each other.”“Wasn’t it Anala who taught you that?”“Yes. And I wrote pages and pages and pages on intimacy in Volume 9 of my journal. Why don’t you read it again? And take it to heart this time.”She frowned, “I’m afraid.”“Who isn’t? Life is scary! But if we let our fear paralyze us, we end up miserable for our entire lives. And that’s what you are right now - miserable. You may be the best young trauma surgeon in the country, but you are not a nice person.”“You’re a real jerk,” Jessica spat.“Am I? Do you pull punches with your diagnoses? And I’m not talking about the ‘bedside manner’ bullshit where you work up to the bad news. Hell, you used to hate that idea!. It was pretty evident that Renée told Erin something about me after she left last night. Whatever that could have been, only they knew. My heart began to race and I became even more nervous. I really wanted to know what they had talked about, but some part of me didn't. That same portion of my being that was a perpetual pessimist just wanted the joke to be over with so everyone could get on with their lives. That same side was absolutely certain that Renée's suggestion for me to seduce Erin was part of the joke.Erin looked back at me and I tried to regain some level of composure and control. I could feel her eyes on me just as I had with Renée. She wasn't looking me over as she might some hunk. She was evaluating, trying to decide if whatever Renée told her about me was true.After what felt like hours of scrutiny (but was probably only a couple of seconds), I looked back at Erin. Her emerald-green eyes reflected the sunlight through the window, and my heart melted. Innocently, she.
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